No, i don't actually know my grandmother that well. I know she's 84 this year, from what i heard from my uncles and my father. She is the second wife of my grandfather and she has 9 children including my father which is the 2nd eldest son.
My grandmother was a very outgoing person from what i remembered. The days when i was still a toddler, she would go around with us family. Go on family trips and vacation, to Langkawi, Penang,Pangkor and many other places. No, those places weren't far and expensive to go, but they were places where we spend time together.
My grandmother carried from sons and daughters of hers to the sons and daughters of her children. She carried each and everyone of us when we were still a baby. The joy of the world she'd have to be the mother of 9 and grandmother of 17. It was the biggest achievement of her life. She loved each and everyone of us very dearly.
But the unfortunate had struck her early. She had a stroke but fortuantely, this stroke wasn't fatal, but nor was it recoverable. She was left with a half paralyzed body . She was wheelchair dependent and had to be served by a maid all the time from eating to bathing to toileting. It wasn't easy for her, to feel so helpless and to be taken care of. My grandmother was a strong women. She loves to take care of things herself just like how she had taken care of herself when my grandfather died long ago before i was even born.
But to be served so helplessly just to lived by each day, was agonizing to her. Everyday, she would wake up at 4.30am and would be pushed around the neighbourhood by the maid and then she would go back home, eat her breakfast which was either bread or oats and then had her daily shot of diabetic medicine and she would seat in front of the television whole day. The first few years after she had her stroke, she was lonely, none my uncles nor family members were around the house, they were all busy with their work and would only came back to visit her for Chinese new year or during the weekends when we were free.
Of course, she was very delighted to see us. Since half of her body was paralyzed, she would only use her left hand to hold us. Though she was half paralyzed, her grip was strong, showing us that she was still capable,that she was still strong. We would give her a hug. The stroke has also taken its toll on her speaking capability. She would only say "ko ko chi". That's the only thing that she could say and every time she would want to tell us something, she would point to us and show us.
It became a little game for both us children and her but we would eventually figured out what was she trying to convey.
Just like that, she was paralyzed for more than 10 years. and i'm only 19 this year. How little of the years that i've actually spend with her.
I will forever miss
Her grip,
Her touch,
Her hug,
Her smile,
and most of all,
Her love.
This is a memoir to a person that i will forever miss,
My grandmother,grandma, Lo Mui.
-Misses Her Dearly-
